To begin, we'll have short tale of "Angry Jac" to appease my sadistic friends.

It started one drunken night in a bar (yes, it involved the Devil's Juice)...  See, there is this girlfriend of mine who just happens to be one of THE MOST genuine people that ever stepped foot on this forsaken planet we call home, and this very geniune girl had been seeing someone not so genuine, Actually, I hate to badmouth her (and I will omit any names in order not to offend) because I think they are still friends, but let's just say, the girl ain't right in the head and has been seen many o' time acting quite "loose" and she's just not one of the people I'd put in my top friends any day soon! 

Okay, so in the bar, feeling pretty good, I believe we were watching a band who I think has fallen off the planet (Stiletto) and I'm pretty hyped because they play all my fave's from the 80's, I see the hoochie come in the door and I say... "Ohhh shit!  Lookey what we have here!"

So me and two other friends (we ganged up on the poor little dwarf) walked over to just give her a friendly little message.  Smiling of course, I walk up and put my arm around her shoulder, which slowly begins to move tighter and tighter towards her throat as I explain to her that she has messed with the wrong person and if I ever hear a negative word from this person again, the next time my arm is around your neck, it's gonna hurt a lot worse (still smiling by the way). My homies put their two cents in while my arm stays tightly in place and then with smile and a blessing, we walk away.  Needless to say, I haven't heard anything to make me want to injure her since that night.

This is to...

The men who say, I want to spend time with you and come over, pass out and snore...I don't like you! Go away!  If I wanted to lay in bed watching a movie with a chainsaw, trust me, I'd own one ya dumb ass!

The men who twist my words to make me look like an asshole... I don't like you! Go away!  just... PISS OFF!

The men who think that because you have a great job and can convince me how much easier my life would be if I were your girlfriend/wife...I don't like you! Go away!  I'm not wealthy, but I get by just fine on my own and would have it no other way.. You CANNOT buy or own me with your bank account!  I hear they give out free SUCKERS at the bank, go get ya one there!

The men who "THINK" they know everything... I don't like you! Go away!  Trust me, you DON'T know Jac!

The men who can't play a game and lose without getting wasted and breaking things... I don't like you! Go away!  "Get a life while you're at it dumbass!" Competition is fun, and I myself am quite competitive, but damn!  Chill!

The men who "THINK" they are well-endowed and because of that, can have any woman they want... I don't like you! Go away!  First off, you probably aren't... Second, that's NOT what it takes to get a woman to fall in love with you!

The men who can only manage getting through a day by getting high... I don't like you! Go away!  That's simply pathetic!

The men who say, "you decide how far you want this relationship to go" then get pissy when you never say you want it go farther than friends... I don't like you! Go away!  Don't tell me to decide, then decide for yourself and then be a jerk!  Gosh, again, GET A LIFE SCUMDOG!

The men who complain to your mutual friends and question what I'm doing, thinking, what color my pee is... I don't like you! Go away!  Just plain ol' GO AWAY!  And leave my friends out of your drama!

And now for the women.... This part is to:

The women who AIN'T "All That" but think they are and think their shit don't stink...  Check yourself bitches... I don't like you!  Go away!  On your way out...can I buy you a mirror?  UGH!  Again... Just go away!

The women who brag about themselves all the time and don't even need you around to convince themselves that you are better than everyone else.. I don't like you!  Go Away!  Puh-Lease!

The women who ain't got one real peice of woman on their bodies, face or hair and insist they are beautiful... I don't like you!  Go Away!  Try being beautiful naturally you fake bitch!  Beauty ain't that expensive when you just stay true to who you are!

The women who swear they are my friends and use me for whatever their useless intention of the day is... I really don't like you!  Go Away quick before you bleed bitches! 

The women who think they can have my man (whoever that may be at that time)... I don't like you!  Go Away!  First of all, if he wanted you, why in the hell would he be with me?  Second.. You just suck and you're dumb for even thinkin' you can take "MY MAN!"  LMAO!!  DUH!!  Dumb Ass!

Okay, I feel a bit better now... I may add to this later or another day, so if you enjoyed, check back later :)

It started yesterday when I hopped in the shower.  Such a stressful crappy week, I decide to shower and wash off all the bad joo joo.  Get nekkid, turn on the water, wait for it to get really hot, then climb in the shower.  I lean my head back under the nice, steaming hot water, eyes open, I look up to see a gecko above me on the ceiling.  Hmmmm I think.  Gecko’s got a helluva grip, I’m sure he won’t go nowhere.  I grab the shampoo, lather up my hair, eyes closed, I begin to rinse it out.  All shampoo is out now, hair is squeeky clean, eyes open, to see NO GECKO on the ceiling anymore!  OH F*&K I think to myself and look down (sort of hopping around I guess you could say).  There he was, the lil bugger was now showering with me.   I move and start to spray him with the water and he crawls up in a corner all nice and quiet, so a bit relieved that I know where is, I finish showering, carefully keeping an eye on him until I am done.  I get out of the shower, dry off and forget about the lizard.

Day Two:  Still forgetting about the lizard... I go to get my shower.  Again, get nekkid, open the shower curtain to turn on the water, and guess who jumps on me?  Yep!  Mr. Lizard!  Now I’m nekkid, in the bathroom, hopping around and screaming trying to get the lizard off of me.  FINALLY he jumps off and onto the floor RIGHT next to the door that leads to my back porch.  I open the door, yes I’m still nekkid, go onto the porch, still nekkid, but now outdoors, grab a broom and shoo him out the door.  Eventually, I calm down and suddenly realize I’m standing outside nekkid with a broom in my hand watching a lizard run far away from me. 

So, needless to say, the lizard is gone, I have clothes on and got to share this wonderful story with you, to hopefully start your weekend off with a good chuckle!

xoxo jac

I'm going to ride this plane out of your life again.
I wish that I could've stayed but you argued.
More than this I wish you could've seen my face
In the backseat staring out the window.

I'll do anything for you,
Kill anyone for you.

So leave yourself intact
'Cause I will be coming back.
In a phrase to cut these lips,
I love you.

The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up.

I earned through hope and faith
The curves around your face
That I'm the one you'll hold forever.
If morning never comes for either one of us,
Then this I pray to you wherever.

I'll do anything for you.
This story is for you.
('Cause I'd do anything you want me to... for you.)
I'll do anything for you,
Kill anyone for you.

So leave yourself intact
'Cause I won't be coming back.
In a phrase to cut these lips,
I loved you.

The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up.

The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
'Til you decide to wake up.

You could've been all I wanted
But you weren't honest
Now get in the ground
You choked off the surest of favors
But if you really loved me
You would've endured my world

Well you're just as I presumed
A whore in sheep's clothing
Fucking up all I do
And if so here we stop
Then never again
Will you see this in your life?

Hang on to the glory at my right hand
Here laid to rest is our love ever longed
With truth on the shores of compassion
You seem to take premise to
all of these songs

You stormed off to scar the armada
Like Jesus played letter,
I'll drill through your hands
The stone for the curse you have blamed me
With love and devotion,
I'll die as you sleep
But if you could just write me out
To neverless wonder... happy will I become
Be true that this is no option,
So with sin I condemn you
Demon play, demon out!

One last kiss for you
One more wish to you
Please make up your mind girl...
I'd do anything for you
One last kiss for you
One more wish to you
Please make up your mind girl...
Before I hope you die